British tabloid gossip is so much better than American tabloid gossip.

If you haven’t heard by now, Ed Sheeran’s latest “Don’t” is NOT [wink wink] about Ellie Goulding cheating on him with One Direction’s Niall Horan while they were all staying at the same hotel.

The track is a call-out put to song; something Ed does perfectly well here. You can’t help but feel scorned like him, out for blood at the end of the 216 seconds…except he encapsulates it so melodically. If only I could be so contained!